Miss you, dad

Exactly 4 years ago this day, my father died from a heart attack. He was 67. I never got to say goodbye. Just a body on a table who no longer could hear what I was saying.

Apart from being extremely upset that this didn’t hit me until a few minutes ago and that this is my first time away from home on this day (truly an awful son here…I knew something didn’t feel right the last 3 days, but I didn’t know what it was until now…why did it take this long for me to realize it?), I am overwhelmed by the reminder that it was my father who inspired me to travel, who took me on a backpacking trip through Europe when I was 9 years old. And it was my father who first got me into photography, only a few days before he died.

4 years later, I carry two of his favorite camera lenses and his soul on my back, seeing the world in the way he would’ve wanted me to.

For some reason, I can’t help it: I feel guilty.- At time of posting in Ha Noi, it was 82.4 °F -

Humidity: 83% | Wind Speed: 4km/hr | Cloud Cover: scattered clouds

En Route to Saigon


  1. I believe Lei’s right.

    I truly believe that your father would have been very proud of you if he saw everything that you’re doing. Never doubt that.

    Much love and peace <3

  2. I couldn’t have said what Lei said better.

    Don’t feel guilty–you’re taking your life by the reins and driving your future forward. Exactly what he would have wanted, and expected of you.

    I’m damn proud to count you among my best friends–I can only imagine how your father would have felt to call you his son.

    Can’t wait to see you!


  3. Calvin- I can’t believe it’s been 4 years already. I’m remembering how strong you were getting up there to deliver the eulogy.

    You father is with you. He hears you, he sees the images you capture through his lenses.

    He would be joyful to know you are partaking in two of his passions. You should not feel guilty. Pay your dues, spill some liquor in his memory, keep him with you in your heart as you travel. You’ll do right by him, I know.


  4. calvin! you’re making your father proud =) i miss you!

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